Before anyone jumps down my throat, I'm not condoning or agreeing with what he said. For those out of the loop-of which I'm sure there are few- Smith is a Sportscaster on ESPN's First Take, their morning talk show that focuses on all the happenings in sports in the previous day. They were disussing the suspension of Ray Rice,-running back for the Baltimore Ravens-who was arrested and suspended by the NFL for two games for battery of his now-wife, then his fiancee. Rice struck Janay Palmer-nee-Rice so hard in an elevator in Atlantic City this past February that she fell, unconscious. Security footage shows Rice dragging Palmer, still unconscious, from the elevator. Rice plead not guilty but an agreement was reached between Rice's lawyers and prosecution that had him enter into a pre-trial intervention program that equaled community service, a heavy fine, probation, and anger management counseling.
So after the NFL announced the suspension, it was one of the headline topics on First Take. Rice's two day suspension and sentencing were discussed, and it was during this discussion where Smith made the following comments:
The "we" Smith was referencing was the female, the one who was-and in a relationship, typically is assaulted. And I'm not here to defend Smith's comments, they're egregious. There is no excuse or rationale for domestic violence of any kind.
But I also think it's important for people to identify triggers, in other words, things in life that lead to anger or loss of control. It's important for our loved ones to know those triggers, to help said aggressor keep their anger under control.
I watched the TV mini-series Fargo in the late spring/early summer, and the first episode featured a character named Lester Nygard-played by the brilliant Martin Freeman-who was a pathetic individual. His wife constantly told him how pathetic he was, how he couldn't satisfy her, and how she should have married his brother instead. The show's early moments focused on her verbal abuse of him, telling him how he wasn't a real man. About 30 minutes into the show he was confronted by a high school classmate as he was walking to work, a man who had tormented him in high school. Nothing changed since then, and the short of it was that Lester left the confrontation with a broken nose. When Lester left the hospital and returned home, his wife went on a tirade of how he didn't stick up for himself, deserved the broken nose, and needed to fix the washing machine.
Lester worked on it for some time, and thought he got it to work. He called his wife down to show her, but when she tried it, it still didn't work. So she continued to belittle him, focusing again on his manhood. He picked up a hammer and looked at her with anger...and she laughed. She told him he wasn't man enough to hit her...until he did. He struck her in the head and did so over and over until she was beyond dead.
And a small part of me was happy for Lester, and glad he shut her up.
Let's face it, in the world we live in, if a man spoke to another man the way Lester's wife belittled him on a day to day basis, we as people would likely cheer. "Finally, the man grew a pair", or "I would have kicked his ass a long time ago." It's not excusing it, per se, it's showing understanding as to why the man acted as he did. But change the gender, and regardless of what is said or done, we shake our heads and point fingers at the terrible behavior and conduct of the man.
The only thing that is different is the gender. I've never hit my wife, but there have been times I've been trying to avoid an argument with her and have been unsuccessful, going from room to room in my house, only for her to follow me. This has gone on for as much as an hour at some points, and finally I've responded verbally with words I'm not proud of. These situations happen maybe once every three months, but I can't imagine what my reaction would be if they happened, say, every 3 days. It would be very hard to deal with.
This isn't to excuse Smith's words, it's almost as if he was justifying what Rice did. I don't know all the details, such as was alcohol involved, had she been yelling at him, or if she was questioning his manhood. None of those make what Rice did right.
But, using Smith's words, could she have done things "to avoid provoking" Rice's "wrong actions"?
Is there any truth to be found in Smith's words?
Should women 'watch their words' so as not to provoke physical violence from men?
Was Smith's suspension of one week enough? Too harsh?
Please remember, these are just questions and comments meant to provoke thought, they don't reflect my opinions on the matter. But any other thoughts or discussion here are welcome and encouraged.
So after the NFL announced the suspension, it was one of the headline topics on First Take. Rice's two day suspension and sentencing were discussed, and it was during this discussion where Smith made the following comments:
Quote:
"Let's make sure we don't do anything to provoke wrong action ... we got to also make sure that you can do your part to do whatever you can do to make, to try to make sure it doesn't happen again." |
The "we" Smith was referencing was the female, the one who was-and in a relationship, typically is assaulted. And I'm not here to defend Smith's comments, they're egregious. There is no excuse or rationale for domestic violence of any kind.
But I also think it's important for people to identify triggers, in other words, things in life that lead to anger or loss of control. It's important for our loved ones to know those triggers, to help said aggressor keep their anger under control.
I watched the TV mini-series Fargo in the late spring/early summer, and the first episode featured a character named Lester Nygard-played by the brilliant Martin Freeman-who was a pathetic individual. His wife constantly told him how pathetic he was, how he couldn't satisfy her, and how she should have married his brother instead. The show's early moments focused on her verbal abuse of him, telling him how he wasn't a real man. About 30 minutes into the show he was confronted by a high school classmate as he was walking to work, a man who had tormented him in high school. Nothing changed since then, and the short of it was that Lester left the confrontation with a broken nose. When Lester left the hospital and returned home, his wife went on a tirade of how he didn't stick up for himself, deserved the broken nose, and needed to fix the washing machine.
Lester worked on it for some time, and thought he got it to work. He called his wife down to show her, but when she tried it, it still didn't work. So she continued to belittle him, focusing again on his manhood. He picked up a hammer and looked at her with anger...and she laughed. She told him he wasn't man enough to hit her...until he did. He struck her in the head and did so over and over until she was beyond dead.
And a small part of me was happy for Lester, and glad he shut her up.
Let's face it, in the world we live in, if a man spoke to another man the way Lester's wife belittled him on a day to day basis, we as people would likely cheer. "Finally, the man grew a pair", or "I would have kicked his ass a long time ago." It's not excusing it, per se, it's showing understanding as to why the man acted as he did. But change the gender, and regardless of what is said or done, we shake our heads and point fingers at the terrible behavior and conduct of the man.
The only thing that is different is the gender. I've never hit my wife, but there have been times I've been trying to avoid an argument with her and have been unsuccessful, going from room to room in my house, only for her to follow me. This has gone on for as much as an hour at some points, and finally I've responded verbally with words I'm not proud of. These situations happen maybe once every three months, but I can't imagine what my reaction would be if they happened, say, every 3 days. It would be very hard to deal with.
This isn't to excuse Smith's words, it's almost as if he was justifying what Rice did. I don't know all the details, such as was alcohol involved, had she been yelling at him, or if she was questioning his manhood. None of those make what Rice did right.
But, using Smith's words, could she have done things "to avoid provoking" Rice's "wrong actions"?
Is there any truth to be found in Smith's words?
Should women 'watch their words' so as not to provoke physical violence from men?
Was Smith's suspension of one week enough? Too harsh?
Please remember, these are just questions and comments meant to provoke thought, they don't reflect my opinions on the matter. But any other thoughts or discussion here are welcome and encouraged.
